The Butterfly Effect

This is a heavier topic, and I feel like only some will understand. Others will think that this is a madman's tale. This is for those of us who have feelings that aren’t explainable in a conscious sort of way. 

The feelings that you feel deep in your core that you can’t quite name but they consume you. They feel heavier than words can even say. And you wonder if it’s just you. If you are the only one that feels these unspoken emotions. 

Does this sound like you? 

Sometimes it feels like you know too much, like your thoughts run too deep for people to understand. You can’t do small talk, or sit in mindless conversations, because your mind is always somewhere heavier. You think in layers. You see the truth in things that normal people wouldn’t. 

You give and you give, because that’s just who you are. 

You carry the weight of other people’s feelings on top of your own—

and it’s heavy. 

This isn’t you feeling bad for them.

It’s you pouring your entire being into theirs, 

seeing life through their eyes, 

until it weighs on you as if it was your own.

You could get into the mind of a murderer if you truly tried, because that's just how deeply you can understand the ones around you. 

You care so deeply you would burn the world down for the ones that you love. You dream not only for yourself, but for your loved ones. 

For a kind of success that would give them safety, softness, a better life.

Are you seeing it yet? 

No matter what someone does to you, you are always willing to look the other way and forgive. 

But even with forgiveness you go the extra mile. 

You forgive in a way that you almost forget what was done to you. 

You give that person grace. 

A clean slate to possibly do the same shit all over again. . . 

Or when you do something to hurt someone else, it wrecks you. 

Because you not only understand but you feel it too. 

Why? 

Because everyone’s human right?

Because we all make mistakes and if it was you, you would want grace too. 

Sound Familiar?  

Like fragile butterflies, we appear delicate, but even the smallest movement of our wings sends ripples through generations. 

We are the ones too good for this world. 

Not because we are better than the rest. But because we are painfully aware of everything around us.

Like we’ve unlocked a hidden secret and only the real survive. We are normally the ones who have to carry this weight for those of us that don’t understand. 

Because for the most part, the ones who don’t understand. . .

It’s like having a literal longing to change the world, but deep down knowing you are just one person. 

It would be nice to find others like us near us, but it’s rare. Maybe it’s intentional though. Maybe the higher power has separated us all so we can influence the minds of those who need this information. 

If we were all in one place, we would probably just migrate to one area and stick together because we are the only ones who can understand us. But we wouldn’t be doing a good service by keeping it all to ourselves,

not waking other people up.

There is influence in Isolation. 

I call these spiritual emotions; emotions that live so deeply within, you couldn’t ignore them even if you tried. 

That delicate, gentle heart. The one that makes you want to wrap it up and hide it away because not everyone deserves you. 

It’s not just one thing about you, it's you in its entirety. And people take advantage of those of us that feel this heavily. Because we will always be of use to them. 

But that’s what it means to be a giver. People will always have their hand out because you will always have something to offer. 

Even if you are on your last leg, you don’t let that stop you from being of help to the ones you love. 

A gift and a curse. 

Or maybe it isn’t a curse at all. Maybe it’s God. Maybe he chooses certain souls because they have a Christ-like heart. The kind of heart that loves beyond reason, that carries others’ burdens, that aches for justice and healing for us. 

The Butterfly Effect lives in these people. The ones called to break generational curses, the ones who hold it all together. 

But think about it from this perspective. You are being called to higher things. You’re not meant to be like the world. You’re not supposed to stoop to everyone’s level, and that’s why you feel so bad when you do.

That guilt, that ache? It’s not weakness—

It’s proof that you were set apart. 

I want to help bring awareness to my little butterflies. I want to open your minds to the idea that even as The Freight Train, you are allowed to rest. 

It is heavy. 

It is hard. 

But you can manage, and you will. You were taught to be strong for others. Now, it’s time to be strong for yourself. 

But there’s a haunting truth. Some of the purest souls don’t stay long. Some are killed too soon in both a mental and physical sense. Take that how you will. 

Some butterflies get their wings touched too soon and it poisons them. 

They can no longer bare to fly; to hold onto the weight and the emotions of it all and it leads them down a path of destruction. 

Others are taken away before the world can corrupt them because God knew that they probably wouldn’t be able to cope with the knowledge of all things. 

Fly with peace and allow yourself rest. 

With love always,
Nyasia Davis